circle of prayer 22. second thoughts: what child is this?

the twelve days of christmas have passed. you have celebrated the nativity of our lord until the epiphany, rather than letting the department stores control your holiday, and it still feels bleak midwinter. earth still stands hard as iron, water is still like a stone. what was it that christmas was all about?

"what child is this, who laid to rest,
on mary's lap is sleeping?
. . .
why lies he in such mean estate . . . ?"
(w.c. dix)

what really is this child of mary? what, really, is this child of god? candlemass (the celtic imbolc) and the transfiguration (celtic lughnasadh), falling on the cross-quarter days in early february and august, respond to those questions, in ways that are at the same time glorious and disturbing.

here is the story of the presentation:

"and when the day came for them to be purified as laid down by the law of moses, they took him up to jerusalem to present him to the lord--observing what stands written in the law of the lord: every firt-born male must be consecrated to the lord--and also to offer in sacrifice, in accordance with what is said in the law of the lord, a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons. now in jerusalem there was a man named simeon. he was an upright and devout man; he looked forward to israel's comforting and the holy spirit rested on him. it had been revealed to him by the holy spirit that he would not see death until he had set eyes on the christ of the lord. prompted by the spirit he came to the temple; and when the parents brought in the child jesus to do for him what the law required, he took him into his arms and blessed god; and he said:

'now master, you can let your servant go in peace,
just as you promised;
because my eyes have seen the salvation
which you have prepared for all the nations to see,
a light to enlighten the pagans
and the glory of your people israel."

as the child's father and mother stood there wondering at the things that were being said about him, simeon blessed them and said to mary his mother, 'you see this child: he is destined for the fall and for the rising of many in israel, destined to be a sign that is rejected--and a sword will pierce your own soul too--so that the secret thoughts of many may be laid bare.'"

(luke 2:22-35)

it starts innocently enough. mary and joseph take the child to jerusalem "to present him to the lord." their poverty, if there had even been any doubt of it, is announced by their sacrifice: "a pair of turtle doves or two young pidgeons." nevertheless simeon, "an upright and devout man," reminds them of and confirms the message of the angels and dreams and shepherds. but to the joyful message that has come before, after proclaiming jesus "a light to enlighten the pagans and the glory . . . of israel," he introduces a shadow. to mary he says "and a sword will pierce your own soul, too." as john's gospel reports, "the light . . . shines in the dark," (john 1:5) and the dark would do everything it could to overpower the light.

so far one can see this light that is jesus as ordinary light, metaphorical light, domesticated light, as we do when the church blesses candles on this day, candlemass. the light is growing as winter moves into spring, and the light of the world is jesus, even if the light does come with a sword.

but there is more. and there is more. let us continue to hear luke's account:

"now about eight days after this had been said [--this being peter's profession that jesus is the messiah--] he took with him peter and john and james and went up the mountain to pray. as he prayed, the aspect of his face was changed and his clothing became brilliant as lightning. suddenly there were two men there talking to him; they were moses and elijah appearing in glory, and they were speaking of his passing which he was to accomplish in jerusalem. peter and his companions were heavy with sleep, but they kept awake and saw his glory and the two men standing with him. as they were leaving him, peter said to jesus, 'master, it is wonderful for us to be here; so let us make three tents, one for you, one for moses and one for elijah.'--he did not know what he was saying. as he spoke, a cloud came and covered them with shadow; and when they went into the cloud the disciples were afraid. and a voice came from the cloud saying, 'this is my son, the chosen one. listen to him.' and after the voice had spoken, jesus was found alone. the disciples kept silence and, at that time, told no one what they had seen.

. . .

"at a time when everyone was full of admiration for all he did, he said to his disciples, 'for your part, you must have these words constantly in your mind: the son of man is going to be handed over into the power of men.' but they did not understand him when he said this; it was hidden from them so that they should not see the meaning of it, and they were afraid to ask him about what he had just said."

(luke 9: 28-36, 44-45)

this time the light's true nature is seen, light the church would come to call "uncreated light," "light from light," as she would call peter's "christ of god" (luke 9:20) "true god of true god." but the nature of the heart-piercing sword begins to be revealed as well. "you must keep these words constantly in your mind: the son of man is going to be handed over to the power of men." (luke 9:44)

this statement, difficult as it was and is for jesus' disciples to accept, is the very heart of our redemption. it is the corrective to original sin. remember the circumstances that are called the fall:

". . . YHWH god gave man this admonition, 'you may eat of all the trees in the garden. nevertheless of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you are not to eat, for on the day you eat of it you shall surely die.' . . . then the serpent said to the woman, 'no! you will not die! god knows in fact that on the day you eat it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like gods.'" (genesis 2:16-17; 3:4-5)

what we often forget reading this passage is that the serpent is the deceiver. (revelation 20:10) adam does die, but spiritually. nor do he and eve know the difference between good and evil. we fear the one who can kill the body, and have no fear of the one who can kill the soul. (matthew 10:28) we ignore the revelation of each sunrise, of each new moon, of each springtime:

"a light . . . shines in the dark,
a light that darkness could not overpower." (john 1:51)

circle of prayer 21. holy cross day

massey hamilton shepherd has given many gifts to the church in his long career. i am obviously indebted to him for his sunday: the day of light. but i want to point out particularly one line of the holy cross day collect he wrote for the 1979 american book of common prayer:

"we, who glory in mystery of our redemption, may have the grace to take up our cross and follow him . . . ."

ah. and that's what i don't find the american church encouraging: to glory in the mystery. because the opposite is also true: we who glory not in the mystery of our redemption may not have the grace to take up our cross and follow him.

circle of prayer 20. the sun stands still: two nativities

"joshua declaimed:

'sun, stand still over gibeon . . . .'
and the sun stood still, . . .
till the people had vengence on their enemies."

(joshua 10:12-13)

if we find the story of the sun's standing still for joshua hard to believe, we should remember two things: the first is that joshua is a book of prophecy, not of history, and of course joshua's name in greek is jesus; the second is that the sun "stands still" twice a year, at the solstices. the nativity of jesus the messiah is celebrated at the winter solstice, the nativity of john the baptist is celebrated at the summer solstice.

the summer solstice: the nativity of john the baptist

if i were in charge of things, i almost certainly would have arranged for the messiah's birth at midsummer, letting the brilliance of the season announce the brilliance of the salvation and the new creation. instead it is john the baptist, the forerunner, who is born at the summer solstice.

john, the full light of the old testament summer, is but a prophet of the uncreated light to come. ". . . it was toward john that all the prophecies of the prophets and of the law were leading; and he," said jesus, "if you will believe me, is the elijah who has to return." (matthew 11:13-14) so john is born at the height of days, then says "he must grow greater, i must grow smaller." (john 3:30) the sun stands still at the northmost point of its journey, then heads south.

"the child that is born to us is more than a prophet; for this is he of whom the saviour says: among those born of woman there is not greater than john the baptist."

antiphon for the nativity of john the baptist (after matthew 11:10-11)

"the great forerunner of the morn,
the herald of the word is born,
and faithful hearts shall never fail
with thanks and praise his light to hail.

"with heavenly message gabriel came,
that john should be that herald's name,
and with prophetic utterance told
his actions great and manifold.

"john, still unborn, yet gave aright
his witness to the coming light,
and christ the sun of all the earth,
fulfilled that witness at his birth."

(the veneble bede)

the winter solstice: the nativity of jesus the christ

six months pass. the sun reaches its furthest southward point, and stands still again. in the northern hemisphere, "night has fallen." (john 13:30)

"in the deep midwinter,
frosty wind made moan,
earth stood hard as iron,
water like a stone;
snow had fallen, snow on snow,
snow on snow,
in the bleak midwinter, long ago."

(christina rossetti)

"when all things were in quiet silence, and the night was in the midst of its swift course, your almighty word, o lord, leaped out of your throne, alleluia."

christmas antiphon (after wisdom 18:14-15)

the messiah is born when all is dark and bleak and there is little cause for hope. (one might add that this is not only true of the natural world. luke's gospel reminds us that jesus was born at a time of great political hopelessness as well: "in the days of king herod of judea . . . at the time [of] caesar august . . . " (luke 1:5, 2:1), despotism and pagan rule seemed firmly established.) but this is the time the sun stands still, and turns around, when

". . . the tender mercy of our god
. . . from on high will bring the rising sun to visit us,
to give light to those who live
in darkness and the shadow of death,
and to guide our feet
into the way of peace." (luke 1:78-79)

the church gathers to proclaim this coming of the light at midnight on christmas eve. people who would never visit a church at any other time gather instinctively with the faithful to celebrate this awesome event. whatever theology we may profess the rest of the year, on this night we answer the call:

"o come, all ye faithful,
. . .
come ye, o come ye, to bethlehem.
come and adore him."

and we leave, walking out into the darkness now strangely made bright, singing

"joy to the world
. . .
let heaven and nature sing."

(Isaac watts)

circle of prayer 19. fall into winter: all saints& spring into summer: pentecost

the times half-way between the equinoxes and the solstices are called cross-quarter days. they are important events in the celtic calendar. all saints and pentecost correspond, approximately, to samhain and beltane. (since pentecost's date, fifty days after the pascha, is controlled partly by the moon, it wanders around the may first date of beltane.)

these are thin places, times when the veil separating the worlds of flesh and spirit is transparent. these are times for bonefires (bonfires), when the bodies of the dead are returned to the elements. these are times to ponder our ultimate fate. the november first date for all saints day seems to have originated in the celtic church. in older english it was called "all hallows' day," using the word for holy or sainted we are most familiar with in the our father. from that name for the feast we get the term that describes all that is left for many people of what is really a very holy time: hallowe'en--all hallow's eve--reflecting that the day properly begins with the evening. october 31st is not, for the church, hallowe'en. rather all hallows still begins on the evening.

as i mentioned above, all saints had its beginning in rome where there were so many martyrs there were not enough days for each to have his or her own date. what was celebrated was their deaths, their falling to sleep, as paul had written in the first letter to the corinthians (15:18), understood as their entry into life in the world to come. at first the celebration occured just after pentecost, as it still does in the eastern church, but gradually in the west the november first date was adopted pretty much everywhere.

it is important to know that all saints day is considered a feast of the lord: "the lord is glorious in his saints." what is celebrated is the work of god in christ jesus through the holy spirit in anyone who says to him, "yes, let it be unto me according to your word" (luke 1:30). prayer is often offered "in the communion of the blessed virgin mary and all the saints," recognizing that it is our "yes, let it be" that like mary's opens the door to the holy one in our hearts and lives. especially do we remember this as the nights are getting longer, the days are getting colder, and the world seems to be returning to the elements. we pray:

"you, o lord, have made us from the dust of the earth and to dust our bodies shall return; yet you have also breathed your spirit upon us and called us to new life in you: have mercy upon us, now and at the hour of our death; through jesus christ, our mediator and advocate. amen.

of course the big celebration of the spirit "breathed upon us" comes six months later, or came six months before, depending upon which way we look. looking forward we see that the life which seems to be ebbing on the earth on all hallows will indeed be renewed at pentecost. "the spirit of the lord renews the face of the earth." looking back we recognize that it was the gift of the spirit which empowers all the saints to triumph in death.

the gift of the spirit is the climax towards which all salvation has been headed. in the church's celebration of pentecost the ancient jewish agricultural celebration of the grain harvest becomes the harvest of the first fruits of the resurrection, the fulfillment of the parable of the sower. in the words of psalm 126,

"when YHWH brought zion's captives home,
at first it seemed like a dream;
then our mouths filled with laughter
and our lips with song.

"even the pagans started talking
about the marvels YHWH had done for us,
and how overjoyed we were!

"YHWH, bring all our captives back again
like torrents in the negeb!

"those who went sowing in tears
now sing as they reap.
they went away, went away weeping,
carrying the seed;
they come back, come back singing,
carrying their sheaves."

circle of prayer. bibliography

the apostolic tradition of hippolytus. trans. burton scott easton (archon books, 1962).

dom cuthbert butler. western mysticism. london: constable and company, ltd., 1922.

book of common prayer, 1979.

j. gordon davies. holy week: a short history . richmond, virginia, john knox press, 1963.

annie dillard. for the time being. new york: alfred a. knopf, 1999.
holy the firm. new york: harper & row, publishers, 1977.

marion j. hatchett. commentary on the american prayerbook. harpersanfrancisco, 1995.

a. g. hebert. liturgy and society. london: faber and faber, mcmlxi.

a. j. heschel. sabbath: its meaning for modern man. new york: farrar, straus and young, inc., 1951.

the jerusalem bible. garden city, new york: doubleday & company, inc., 1966.

bayard h. jones. the american lectionary. new york: morehouse-gormon co., 1988.

e. kadloubovsky and g. e. h. palmer, trans. writings from the philokalia on prayer of the heart. london. boston: faber and faber, 1957.

lesser feasts and fasts. new york: the church hyman corporation, 1980.

liturgy: the lord's day. volume 8, number 1 (summer 1989).

a. allan macarthur. the evolution of the christian year. greenwich, connecticutt: the seabury press, 1953.

juan mateos, s.j. "the origins of the divine office," worship (1967), pp. 447-85.

leonel mitchell. the meaning of ritual. new york: paulist press, 1977.
prayer shapes believing: a theological commentary on the book of common prayer. harrisburg, pa/wilton, ct: morehouse publishing, 1985.

sayyed hossein nasr. knowledge and the sacred. new york: crossroad, 1981.

gertrude mueller nelson. to dance with god. new york/mahway: paulist press, 1986.

philip newall. the book of creation: an introduction to celtic spirituality. new york/mahweh: paulist press, 1999.

raimundo panikar. worship and secular man. london: dalton, longman & todd, 1973.

joseph pieper. in tune with the world. chicago: franciscan herald press, 1973.

h. b. porter. day of light: the biblical and theological meaning of sunday. greenwich, conn.: the seabury press, 1960.
a song of creation. cambridge: cowley publications, 1986.

prayer book studies 22: the daily office. new york: church hymnal corporation, 1970.

prayer book studies xii: propers for the minor holidays. new york: the church pension fund, 1958.

the rule of st. benedict in english. ed. timothy fry, o.s.b. collegeville, minnessota: the liturgical press, 1982.

alexander schmemann. for the life of the world. new york: st. vladimir seminary press, 1973.

howard schwartz. "on the first day." parabola. volume 26, no. 2. (summer 2001), pp. 15-18.

massey h. shepherd. oxford american prayerbook commentary. new york: oxford university press, 1950.


thomas spidlik. drinking from the hidden fountain: a patristic breviary (kalamazoo, michigan-spenser, massachusetts: cistercian publications, 199.

daniel b. stevick. baptismal moments, baptismal meanings. new york: the church hymnal corporation, 1987.

alan watts. myth and ritual in christianity. boston: beacon press, 1968.

circle of prayer 18. fall and spring: holy cross and pascha

i am of the first generation to grow up under the curse of television, the last generation in the united states, canada or western europe to grow up experiencing reality rather than virtual reality, or as its critics tend to say, hyper reality. an advantage of having lived in this transitional period is a stock of stories and characters from television that my whole generation remembers. one of my favourites is from howdy doody: an indian princess named summerspringwinterfall. her name was a two-edged sword: it looked back to the time when american children knew the seasons from direct experience; but it also suggested the silliness, the primitivity, of people who took the procession of the seasons seriously, whose wheat came from the earth rather than being shot from guns, as it was in another popular image from my tv-insired. random access memories.

the ancient israelites of course were one of the primitive groups for whom the seasons were intensely important. a people who had settled into an uneasy agrarianism with an ancestry of herding nomadism ("my father was a wandering aramaen. he went down into egypt to find refuge there . . . " says the confession at deuteronomy 26:5), their transition had not been without conflict, a conflict first recorded in the legend of cain and abel (genesis 4:1-16). their lives depended upon timely "sowing and reaping, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night . . ." (genesis 8:22).

their earliest festivals had been agriculural. it is sometimes said that they came to be understood as having religious meaning as well, but for people who live close to the natural world, such a distinction seldom occurs. what did happen is that the meaning, the contents, of the feasts developed as the law was revealed, as they came into the land, and as worship came to be centered in the temple. the "festivals solemn to YHWH" are described in the twenty-third chapter of leviticus.

in the fall, in the seventh month, came rosh ha-shonah, the new year and annual remembrance of the creation of adam, man, yom kippur, the day of atonement, and the feast so important it was sometimes simply called the hag, the festival, the seven days of sukkot, the feast of tabernacles.

in the spring, in the first month, came pesach, passover and unleavened bread (and fifty days later, in the third month, shavuot, pentecost).

the church immediately picked up pascha and pentecost, called in england easter and whitsunday. their importance in the life of the church as the days of resurrection and the gift of the holy spirit are attested in the four gospels and in the acts of the apostles. but even though jesus as the fulfillment of the day of atonement is the major theme of the epistle to the hebrews, it would be three hundred years before the church developed a ritual occuring on the fall equinox to replace the jewish celebrations she did not continue to observe.

it was necessary that such a festival be developed. the fall equinox is too big an event in people's experience not to be explained as finding fulfillment in christ jesus. as a. g. hebert so perceptively comments, "above all, christ is the fulfiller." the difficulty of course is that easter had swallowed up the need for rosh ha-shonah, since the resurrection marked the first day of the new creation, the emergence from the earthen tomb of the new adam, and for yom kippur, jesus christ having accomplished once and for all the atonement towards which the yearly rites of the jews could only point (hebrews 10:12-14).

three hundred years after the crucifixion and resurrection of christ jesus, helena, mother of constantine, would visit the site to build a shrine. To do so required quite a lot of excavation, because previous emperors had erected a temple to jupiter there in an effort to make the place unavailable for christian devotion. during the work she found a piece of wood she decided must be from the very cross of our lord, and which would become the major relic of the shrine.

constantine's shrine was quite elaborate, as was suitable for such a venerable location. it consisted of two principal buildings: a basilica for the liturgy of the word, and a circular church called the resurrection--in greek anastasis--whose altar was placed on the very site of the tomb. it was used for the liturgy of the table and the singing of the daily office. the two buildings were separated by a courtyard through which the faithful passed on their way from word to table, and from which the exposed top of cavalry's hill was visible. there on good friday took place the solemn veneration of the cross, and there the congregation gathered after vespers for a final prayer and dismissal.

the shrine was dedicated in a. d. 335 on the 14th of september, the seventh month of the roman calendar, a date chosen to echo the dedication of solomon's temple on the same day of the seventh month of the jewish calendar (2 chronicles 7:8-10).

thus the time of year when, in the northern hemisphere, the darkness of the night begins to exceed the light of the day and the vegetable world begins to die, that time became the moment of exalting the cross, the ultimate symbol of the power of darkness, which would become the penultimate symbol of the power of light and life (the ultimate expression being the resurrection itself). it would look forward in the growing darkness to the unquenchable life of the one who is himself light.

but the feast also gathers up another fulfillment, another revelation, of christ jesus: his body's replacing the jerusalem temple, being destroyed and being raised up in three days (john 2:10-22). in an example of probably unintentional irony, on yom kippur, the day of atonement which coincides more or less with holy cross day (the jewish calendar is lunar and wanders a bit in relation to the solar calendar), modern jews read the book of jonah, the story about which jesus said, when "some of the scribes and pharisees . . . said 'we would like to see a sign from you,' . . . replied, 'it is an evil and unfaithful generation that asks for a sign! the only sign it will be given is the sign of the prophet jonah. for as jonah was in the sea-monster for three days and three nights, so will the son of man be in the heart of the earth for three days and three nights.'" (matthew 12:38-40).

just as fall, with so much of the world seeming to die, would not be a time for festival if there were no hope of the spring to follow, so holy cross day gets its hope, and its power, from the pasca, easter, which follows six months later. about the resurrection anything i write will fall short. one can only rejoice at crocus leaves and blossoms rising from the snow of winter. one can only most greatly rejoice at jesus rising from the heart of the earth. it is a truly cosmic event, a fact the church recognizes by celebrating on the first sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. all our measures of time are included, for what we are celebrating, as we mentioned in the chapters about sunday, especially chapter 13, is nothing less than the recreation of the cosmos: ". . . for anyone who is in christ, there is a new creation; the old creation is gone, and now the new one is here" (2 corinthians 5:17).

the fact and the meaning and our proper response to the resurrection few of us can grasp in a moment. matthew records that after the resurrection, when the eleven disciples met jesus at the arranged place, "some hesitated" (matthew 28:17).

one enters into life in christ through baptism: ". . . when we were baptized in christ jesus we were baptized in his death; in other words, when we were baptized we went into the tomb with him and joined him in death, so that as christ was raised from the dead by the father's glory, we too might live a new life" (romans 6:3-4).

the immensity of this event led the church to require up to three years of catechesis before baptism, not at all unreasonably when considers christ jesus spent three years with his disciples before his crucifixion. all the faithful have come to approach this awesome day of death and resurrection through a forty-day lent. but none of our words about the resurrection seem to express its meaning any better or more powerfully than spring itself, that great outburst of life fulfilled in the great outburst of the living jesus from the rocky tomb. but we try, as in this hymn by j. m. c. crum:

Now the green blade riseth from the buried grain,
Wheat that in the dark earth many days has lain;
Love lives again, that with the dead has been:
Love is come again, like wheat that springeth green.

In the grave they laid him, love whom men had slain,
Thinking that never he would wake again.
Laid in the earth like grain that sleeps unseen:
Love is come again, like wheat that springeth green,

Forth he came at Easter, like the risen grain,
He that for three days in the grave had lain.
Quick from the dead my risen Lord is seen:
Love is come again, like wheat that springeth green.

When our hearts are wintry, grieving, or in pain,
Thy touch can call us back to life again;
Fields of our hearts that dead and bare have been:
Love is come again, like wheat that springeth green.

24 august: st. bartholomew

it is almost 7:00 a.m. and the sun is barely climbing the trees. st. bartholomew's day should remind me, if the bronze-tinged oak leaves in the rising sunlight do not, that holy cross day is coming.

the readings for morning prayer are psalm 86, genesis 28:10-22 and the gospel according to john 1:43-51.

so: when did nathaniel bartholomew apostle, "a true israelite in whom there is no deceipt," come to see "heaven open and the angels of god ascending and descending upon the son of man?" did this only occur as he was being flayed, as stephen saw the temple of the new jerusalem as he was being stoned? or did it happen sooner? the key to an answer is in the phrase, "son of man." nathaniel has just called jesus "the son of god," but jesus calls himself "the son of man.."

this insistence on the incarnation in the story of the call of nathaniel comes in john's gospel just before jesus' conversation with nicodemus, which contains the striking claim "no one has ascended into heaven except the one who descended from heaven, the son of man. and just as moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the son of man be lifted up." (3:13-14) we often read this passage hurrying towards what we usually consider the punch line in the sentence we pull out as verse sixteen. but john was not writing verses, he was writing a gospel, and these early passages will be the background for jesus' enigmatic statement to mary magdalene on the morning of the resurrection, "i have not yet ascended to the father" (20:17), and they are a clue to what we are to become after jesus or one of his apostles breathes on us and says, "receive the holy spirit."

here in the beginning of john's gospel is already a prophecy and an interpretation of the ascension and its importance. the word of god, the son of god, becomes flesh and dwells among us, no longer only the son of god, god the son, who he has been eternally, but now also the son of man, with a body in which he will be glorified and in which he will ascend to heaven.

jacob dreamed of a ladder on which he saw "angels of god . . . ascending and descending." he recognized the place as "none other than the house of god . . . the gate of heaven." this same jacob, in whom there was plenty of deceipt, must wrestle with god in order to become israel.

jesus had called nathaniel "truly an israelite in whom there is no deceipt, but nathaniel too will be involved in a struggle, a struggle greater than jacob's, as he comes to the time when he can see above the son of man the angels of god going up and coming down. for the true jacob's ladder is the cross, which jesus invites us to take up daily.

nathaniel bartholomew, apostle, gift of god, son of the furrows, sent forth, would pick up his cross and carry it and the gospel as far as ethiopia and egypt and then north to armenia where he would be martyred by flaying. it is a dangerous prayer we pray this day as we remember bartholomew:

almighty and everlasting god, you gave to your aostle bartholomew grace truly to believe and preach your word: grant that your church may love what he believed and preach what he taught; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the holy spirt, one god, for ever and ever. amen

bartholomew believed firmly enough to lose his life in order to gain. he allowed himself to become a stone in the building which is the church, the body of christ, in which dwells the holy spirit.

a circle of prayer 17. contrasts and correspondences

as i have lived and prayed with these festivals over the years, i have come to notice significant correspondences between the pairs of celebrations that fall six months apart from each other. the pairs present the same themes, the same elements, in ways that show potential and fulfillment.

at candlemass, the feast of the presentation, for instance, we hear simeon call jesus "a light to enlighten the gentiles," (luke (luke 2:21) and six months later at the transfiguration we find jesus to be the uncreated light, "light from light, very god from very god." the potential seen by simeon is fulfilled in the sight of peter, james, and john.

the other corresponding pairs are similarly related:

holy cross day and the pascha, easter.
all saints' day and pentecost
the nativity of john the forerunner and the nativity of jesus the christ.

they will be discussed, therefore, in these pairings.

circle of prayer 16. the year: sunday bursts its spiced tomb

in the fifth century augustine of hippo wrote in one of his sermons words that could be the source of the words in the english prayer book i quoted in the previous chapter:

"we firmly believe, brethren, that the lord has died for our sins, the just for the unjust, the master for the slaves, the shepherd for the sheep and, still more astonishingly, the creator for the creatures. . . .

"all of that happened once and for all, as you know well enough. and yet we have the liturgical solemnities which we celebrate as, during the course of the year, we come to the date of particular events. . . .

"the historical truth is what happened once and for all, but the liturgy makes these events always new for the hearts that celebrate them with faith." (sermons, 220)

the problem with the resurrection, you see, is that it expresses itself at all times and in all places. as simeon the new theologian wrote, "faith means being willing to die for christ." there were almost immediately after the feast of pentecost "witnesses," for that is what "martyrs" means, followers of our lord ready to die for him. the seventh chapter of acts tells the story of stephen, the first martyr-witness, significantly not an apostle but a deacon, one chosen to serve, and therefore a prime illustration of what it might mean to serve christ the servant king.

very early the anniversary of the death, the falling to sleep, of the martyrs came to be remembered and celebrated, if possible with a eucharist at the place of martyrdom or at the tomb. soon there had been so many martyrs that in rome the church began to celebrate them all one day, all saints' day. this custom gradually came to be adopted throughout the western church.

although the death and resurrection events were central to the christian faith, other events in jesus' life were also considered important enough for annual remembrance. his birth obviously was one of those events.

often these were events which the disciples had not understood as they were happening. how often it must have been true, as the gospel according to john relates about the cleansing of the temple, that ". . . when jesus rose from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this, and they believed the scriptures and the words he had said." (john 2:22) among the most important of this category of remembrances were the the presentation, forty days after jesus' birth, and the transfiguration, in early august.

a third source of annual remembrances were the jewish festivals, the festivals of torah, which the church began to understand as messianic prophecies. some of them were intimately related to the life of our lord and his church. pesach, the passover, was the time of his death and resurrection, and shavuot, the feast of weeks, pentecost, was the time of the giving of the holy spirit. hannakah occured at the time of his birth.

over time other great jewish feasts, too, would be "baptised." the great fall holy days of rosh ha-shonah, yom kippur, sukkot and simchat torah yielded the new year of the eastern church, holy cross day, and the beginning of the new lectionary cycle. (although in the western church the new lectionary cycle is now seen as beginning with advent.)

besides jesus, only two people are remembered on the days of their birth: mary his virgin mother, on december eighth, and john the baptiser, the foreruner, on june twenty-fourth. the date of john's nativity would become a major feast of the church, occuring as it does just six months before the nativity of christ. the celebration of john's birth at the height of the solar year, marks the culmination of the old testament.

slowly there emerged a procession of eight great feasts at the major turning points of the year, proclaiming that all of time was both prophetic of the life and work of jesus christ, and fulfilled by that same life and work:

1. near the autumanal equinox, holy cross day, the fourteenth of september.
2. on the first of november, all saints' day.
3. on december twenty-fifth, the nativity of our lord jesus christ.
4. forty days after the nativity, the second of february, the presentation.
5. approximately six months after holy cross day, on the first sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox, is pascha, the feast of the resurrection.
6. fifty days later (and approximately six months after all saints' day), the day of pentecost is "fully come."
7. at midsummer, six months after christmas, the church remembers the birth of john, the forerunner.
8. finally, on the sixth of august, six months after the presentation, comes the feast of the transfiguration of our lord.

these eight great festivals comprise a circle of prayer that not only proclaims and explains the life of our lord but, if understood correctly, is a key to understanding our own lives, day by day, year by year, lifespan by lifespan.

a circle of prayer: preface: beginning

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time." (t. s. eliot, "little gidding")

the problem and advantage of a circle is that it has no begining, and everywhere is a beginning. this essay on time as revelation and formation has been been begun three times. i began to be reworked, reformed, recreated by observing what is uaually called "the church year" after reading thomas merton's journal the sign of jonas. then i was in william tyndale's words "a lucky fellow" and wandered into an episcopal church and took up the daily office.

like so many new and true believers, i was anxious to share my discoveries. i read everything i could find on the "church year" (some of which are included in the selected bibliography), and soon i was teaching introductions to the year and even presenting a book called a circle of prayer to a publisher, who accepted it. but i was not quite happy with it, and only circulated it in xerox to a number of friends. (ironically, if it had been rejected i might have been defensive and tried harder to publish it.)

years passed, and i read more and taught more, sometimes about the history of the church year, sometimes about its meaning. i proudly had another work ready to publish about 1995, and the floppy discs holding it were stolen. so! more reading, more teaching, more recreation. and now, as the psalmist says, "i am old and greyheaded." if i am ever going to publish anything, it should be soon.

the delay has, i think, been very good. i am no longer interested in writing another history of the church year. i do not know of any that are actually adequate, even though some are very insightful. nor do i think justice can be done to the "meaning" of either individual feasts or of the whole cycle. what is the "meaning" of the holy one's self-revelation, beyond profound, enduring, tenacious love?

so what i present here is episodic and experiential, offered knowing that my understanding is inadequate, partial, seen "through a glass darkly." but it is also my testimony to the holy one's continual seeking of me and all his creatures in ways as ordinary as the sunrise, as spectacular as the sunset.

when did i begin my inadequate, partial look through the dark glass? in some ways as an eight-year old boy who walked down the aisle of walnut street baptist church in a small arkansas town to the singing of
"footsteps of jesus, that make the pathways glow;
i will follow the steps of jesus where'er they go."

but i was not always aware of following them in the years that followed, years that included taking a "year off" from my accustomed more-or-less orthodox christian practice to explore "natural religion/celtic christianity."

ultimately i have come to understand these "natural" events as revelations of god's christ, "because he wanted all perfection / to be found in him / and all things to be reconciled through him and for him, / everything in heaven and everything on earth, / when he made peace / by his death on the cross." (colossians 1:19-20)

i present this very imperfect essay because our common understanding of the christ tends to be so divided. some of us find "the cosmic christ," often described in sanscrit and usually separated from the cross. some of us find "a personal saviour," who may be the "first-born of all creation," (colossians 1:19) but who no longer has anything to do with the physical world. i believe neither of these views is adequate, and that a re-spect, literally a looking again, at how the holy one is revealed in time created, not as we have reinvented it in minutes and seconds, will help to broaden and unify our vision of the one who "is the image of the unseen god."

circle of prayer 15. the week two: a christian remembering

for christians, the redemption of the world in jesus' death, descent among the dead, resurrection and ascension is irrepeatable, described in the words of the anglican book of common prayer as "his one oblation of himself once offered, a full, perfect, and sufficiant sacrifice, oblation, and satisfaction, for the sins of the whole world." one might expect the weekly, sunday, celebration of the eucharist, of the lord's supper, to suffice as the ". . . perpetual memory of that his precious death and sacrifice, until his coming again." but the human mind does not easily take in every meaning of this "one once" event, so the liturgy soon began to expand on the sunday's celebration.

easter gave meaning to every sunday. "holy week," the last week jesus spent in jerusalem before his resurrection, gave meaning to every week. by the second century the "station"days of wednesday and friday were related to our lord's betrayal and crucifixion, often as fast days. somewhat later thursdays came to be understood as recalling the last supper and institution of the holy eucharist. although the observance of the days of the week throughout the year has seldom been a major part of christian devotion, except for friday fasting, in many parts of the church the celebration of holy week overshadows, if not easter sunday, than certainly the great fifty days.

circle of prayer 14. sunday not the sabbath::baptism not rest

sunday is not the christian sabbath. as the new-born church grew, the jewish christians continued to keep the sabbath. (the nasrani church of the east continues to do so until this day.) all the church, jewish and gentile, celebrated the lord's day.

the separation of the sabbath and the lord's day became confused in the reformation, extremely so amonst the puritans. the confusion remains a legacy of the western church. liturgy, the journal of the liturgical conference, who should know better, published an issue called "the lord's day" in which one fourth of the essays were about the sabbath. almost none of the essays makes any distinction between these two days.

i belabor this point because the confusion belittles both the sabbath and the lord's day. without the acknowledgement of the sabbath as the crown of creation, the first revelation of the holy, we lost both our appreciation of the goodness of creation and any potential appreciation and celebration of the new creation, the kingdom of god into which we are initiated by our baptism. to quote porter again, "entrance into the church is a re-creation and admission into the kingdom of light." (ephesians 2:10; colossians 1:12-13; 3:10; 1 peter 2:9; i john 1:7). and we perhaps lose sight of the nature of the true and ultimate place of rest which still awaits, and which is one of the central themes of the epistle to the hebrews (3:7-4:11).

circle of prayer 13. sunday: day of the spirit.

i am convinced that for luke the evangelist, for his favorite apostle, paul, and for john, evangelist and apostle, the climax of the mighty acts of god in the coming of the messiah into the world was not the resurrection but the outpouring of the holy spirit, which happens in all accounts on a sunday.

i won't try to convice my reader of this understanding of luke, paul, and john, but i will point to the centrality of the gift of the spirit both in scripture and liturgy.

on the first day of the week, "god's spirit hovered over the water." (genesis 1:26) to quote porter, ". . . we find that the mysterious divine role of the holy ghost at the inauguration of creation prefigures divine action in other biblical events of major importance.

and so luke 24:49: "and now i am sending down on you what the father has promised." acts 2:1,4: "when pentecost day came around, they had all met in one room . . . . they were all filled with the holy spirit."

for paul, a sample from romans (5:5): "the love of god has been poured into our hearts by the holy spirit which has been given to us."

and from john (20:21-22): ". . . and he said to them, 'peace be with you.

"'as the father sent me,
so i am sending you.'

"after saying this he breathed on them and said,
'receive the holy spirit.'"

it seems certain that in the earliest church sunday was a unitive feast, by which i mean it commemorated the death, burial, resurrection, and ascension of christ and the outpouring of the spirit. this is clearly shown in the the ancient eucharistic prayer, the anaphora of st. basil:

"father, we now celebrate the memorial of our redemption. recalling christ's death and his descent among the dead, proclaiming his resurrection and ascension to your right hand, awaiting his coming in glory; and offering to you, from the gifts you have given us, this bread and this cup, we praise you and we bless you.

"we praise you, we bless you,
we give thanks to you,
and we pray to you, lord our god.

"lord, we pray that in your goodness and mercy your holy spirit may descend upon us, and upon these gifts . . . .

"grant that all who share this bread and cup may become one body and one spirit, a living sacrifice in christ, to the praise of your name."

just as at his baptism in the jordan jesus was declared to be the son of god and the annointed one of the holy spirit, just as at pentecost the ascended jesus sends down the anointing of the holy spirit, baptizing his followers as john the forerunner had foretold (the gospel according to john 1:33), so the spirit comes down fresh on the body of christ each sunday as it gathers again in his name.

circle of prayer 12. sunday: day of resurrection

if sunday as the day of light might not seem obvious at first, sunday as the day of the resurrection should. all of the gospels make it very clear that the resurrection occured on the first day of the week. yet i have several times been surprised when i have asked self-defined christians, usually on a sunday afternoon, how they had celebrated the resurrection of our lord, to be met with vacant looks or some remembrance of easter.

that sunday, the first day of the week, was celebrated as the lord's day, the day of the resurrection, is very clear as early as the book of acts, when in the twentieth chapter (vv. 6-11) is described paul's sunday at troas. since he was there a week, we can assume that the choice of days was deliberate (and also that apparently they began at sunset according to the jewish marking of the day).

it seems that the pattern of christian worship which has been constant ever since was already being followed at troas. the pattern follows, and again i am indebted to h. b. porter for pointing this out, the resurrection appearances of jesus: first, he establishes that he is indeed alive. this is celebrated by the assembly of believers itself, who gather because they know that he is indeed alive. then, the scriptures are explained as they relate to the gospel. then the presence of the lord is remembered in the holy meal. finally, the followers are sent forth to proclaim everywhere the messianic kingdom.

we sometimes overlook the importance of the assembly itself. assembly is reflected in the greek name for festal celebrations, the synaxis. and the assembly is important again and again in the new testament writings, beginning with luke 24:33, when the emmaus road travelers arrive in jerusalem: "there they found the eleven assembled together with their companions." it is in this assembly that "he himself stood among them . . ." (v.36) the assembly is mentioned also, for instance in acts 12:12 and 20:8, and in the first letter to the corinthians, 5:4.

the expounding of scriptures is seldom overlooked, even in protestant worship where the meal is neglected. what is sometimes overlooked is the entirely new meaning and understanding of the scriptures that comes with the resurrection. there is now an entirely new creation. porter suggests that we see this new understanding when "new testament writers meditate upon the opening of genesis" in the following passages:
the gospel according to john, 1:1-4; the first letter to the corinthians, 15:20-49; the second letter to the corinthians 4-6; the letter to the ephesians 5:22-33; and the first chapter of the letter to the colossians.

then the meal. luke's gospel records "he took the bread and said the blessing; then he broke it and handed it to them. and their eyes were opened and they recognized him . . ." (24:30b-31a). so the church has come to know him in the lord's supper ever since.

finally we, too, are sent out. having received the body of christ we are sent to be the body of christ at work in the world, with the deacon saying "let us go forth into the world rejoicing in the power of the spirit."

circle of prayer 11. sunday: day of light

"the day of light, the day of resurrection, the day of the spirit" is the description of sunday used by h. b. porter in his slender volume the day of light: the biblical and liturgical meaning of sunday, which is one of those wonderful books that are bigger on the inside than they are on the outside.

porter bridges the light that is at the beginning of creation in genesis ("god said, 'let there be light,' and there was light." [genesis 1:3] and the light that is at the beginning of the incarnation in the gospel according to john ("the word was the true light/that enlightens all men;/and he was coming into the world." [john 1:9]), and the light of the transfiguration in the synoptic gospels (matthew 17:1-8; mark 9:2-8; luke 9:28-36). although he mentions that "pure light, independent of the sun, moon, or stars" has a special importance "as the type of god's creative activity," he does not explore the mystery with which this light is approached in both judaism and eastern christianity.

howard schwartz presents its importance for judaism:

". . . what was the light of the first day?

"in discussions scattered throughout the rabbinic, kabbalistic, and hasidic literature, the rabbis consider this question. they search for clues about this mysterious light in every book of the bible, and find the clue they need in a prophecy of isaiah. he speaks about what the world would be like in the messianic era: 'moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days.' (isaiah 30:26) . . .

"drawing on isaiah's explanation, the rabbis conclude that the two lights--that of the first day and that of the fourth--are different. the light of the first day is a primordial light, what they call the haganuz or hidden light."

in christianity the primordial light is usually called the uncreated light in the east, the uncomprehended light in the west. it is a matter of long and complicated debate whether the light is part of the very nature of god (an idea picked up in the nicene creed when we say that the son is "light from light, true god from true god") or immanates from god (an idea that finds support in the accounts of moses and elijah, who somehow see god and live (exodus 33 and 1 kings 19) and then appear again at the transfiguration of jesus.

what porter does do that is perhaps even more important is point out the very early understanding of the church, expressed in paul's letters again and again, nowhere more clearly proclaimed than in the second letter to the corinthians (4:6): "it is the same god that said 'let there be light shining out of the darkness,' who has shone in our minds to radiate the light of the knowledge of god's glory, the glory of the face of christ."

one of my favorite sunday morning activities is to rise before sun and go to a high hillside where i can watch the new-shining light recreate a valley or a lake or an arm of the ocean. sometimes i will chant the opening of psalm 104 (1-2a):

"bless YHWH my soul.
YHWH my god, how great you are!
clothed in majesty and glory, wrapped in a robe of light."

it always seems the perfect preparation for the liturgy which follows, which will begin as the people of god gather and light the candles on the holy table: "christ our light!"

circle of prayer 10. the week. one

i am putting the week after the month because it is "discoverable," i think, only as a derivitve, a sub-division of the month. yet of all the divisions of time, with the possible exception of a human life, it is the one most loaded wtih meaning. i have mentioned the background for the week's density of metaphor when i looked at the day, evening and morning, as the basic unit of creation and therefore of revelation.

six days of creation plus the one holy day of the sabbath is the week. although it is an understanding that is largely lost in the modern industrial world of work week and "week end," except by observant jews, it is this week that is fulfilled in the christian week of the new creation: six days of creation, plus the one holy day of the sabbath, plus the eighth day, the first day of the new creation which is not just holy, but the day of the lord.

it was the sabbath that first brought the jews the understanding that the holy one dwells, and is revealed, and is worshipped, in time as well as space. (abraham j. heschel discusses this understanding beautifully in sabbath: its meanings for modern man.) the week becomes a spiritual bracelet, a setting for this holy and glorious jewel, the sabbath.

of course it was possible to misuse this bracelet, to turn something spiritual and glorious into something legalistic and pedantic, and the gospels provide us ample of illustrations of how that happens. but we would be in grave error if we let ourselves mistake misunderstanding for reality.

the most glorious thing about the week adorned by the sabbath is that it was only a prophecy of the more wonderfully bejewelled week to come. the week that remembers the holy one's creation of all things is a foreshadowing of the holy one's recreation of all things in christ jesus. (see, for example, the gospel according to matthew 19:28, and 2 corinthians 5:17.) the seventh day of the week, the day the holy one rested from all the work of creation, becomes the day christ jesus rests in the earth, having finished (see the gospel according to john 19:30) the work of the new creation.

then comes the most amazing event. early in the morning of the first day of the week, jesus' disciples find that his tomb is empty, that he is risen. the first day of the week becomes the first day of the new creation, a day so wondrous it is called by the early church the eighth day.

the first day becomes the lord's day, the day of christian rejoicing and worship. (see revelation 1:10; the bible begins and ends on the first day of the week.) the church in the east will continue to mark the sabbath in addition to the lord's day; the greek church will remember the connection between creation and the week by assigning psalm 104 to saturday vespers; the western church will keep that connection in her worship by assigning the canticle of the three young men, benedicte, omnia opera, to saturday morning. but with the resurrection comes a new spiritual bracelet, the week as the setting for the lord's day, the eighth day, the day of light, the day of the resurrection, the day of the spirit.

circle of prayer 9. the month

"god said, 'let there be light in the vault of heaven to divide day from night, and let them indicate festivals, days and years. . . .' and so it was. god made the two great lights: the greater light to govern the day, the smaller light to govern the night, and the stars. . . . god saw that it was good." (genesis 1:14-18)

we have lost the month. of course we have calendars of the twelve months of the roman year, with illustrations of any sort, from farm machinery to sacred sites of scotland, but for the most part we who live in the detritus of the roman empire have lost the month as controlled by the moon. our calendar is solar, with nice tidy months that come out even. some of them even note the phases of the moon. but the moonth, this great symbol of death and rebirth, this celestial sign of the power of the female, is mostly gone.

how thorough is this loss was revealed to me when i read amos 8:5 (". . . when will the new moon be over/so that we can sell our corn . . . ?" jb) in eugene h. peterson's translation, the message: ". . . when's my next next paycheck coming/so i can go out and live it up?"

of course the christian year continues to have its most imporant holy day controlled by the moon: the pascha, easter. but i suspect few worshipers know this is true. we don't look for the full moon after the spring equinox, we just look on the calendar.

the hebrew calendar was (is) lunar, and there are many reminders of this fact in scripture. in psalm 81 we hear,

"start the music, sound the drum,
the melodious lyre and the harp;
sound the new moon trumpet,
at the full moon, on our feast day!

"this is a statute binding on israel,
an ordinance of the god of jacob,
this decree he imposed on joseph
. . . ." (vv. 2-5)

numbers 28 contains the mitzvah of the full moon:

"at the beginning of each of your months you must offer a holocaust to YHWH . . . . this must be the monthly holocaust, year after year, month after month, every month of the year." (vv. 11, 14)

it is at the feast of the new moon that jonathan learns of his father saul's intentions towards david. (1 samuel 20)

many people who live close to creation continue to recognize the moon's symbology, and many oriental cultures have retained lunar calendars and feasts. one of the most powerful art exhibitions i have ever seen was a work by the apache artist bob housous called "13 moons" at the wheelwright museum in santa fe. the japanese continue to have "moon viewing parties to view particularly favourable moons. often called "the canticle of the sun," francis of assissi's great hymn "most high, omnipotent, good lord" includes the moon: "my lord be praised by sister moon/and all the stars that with her soon/will point the glittering heavens."

if my thesis that time and its created markers are indeed a primary self-revelation of the holy one is correct, then it would behoove us to become aware once more of the waxing and waning of "the smaller light."

perhaps we might adopt some of the jewish practices around the moon, such as this blessing:

"One must be able to see the moon at the time that one recites the blessing. After reciting the blessing over the moon, it is proper to dance joyfully and to greet three people with the worlds "shalom aleichem." It is also customary to sing the song "David melekh yisrael chai vekayam" (David the king of Israel lives forever)--because the new moon is also associated with eternal life and messianic times of perfect peace.

The blessing is as follows: Blessed are you, God, ruler of the universe,whose word created the heavens and whose breath created the heavenly hosts, who gave them ordinances that they not change their orbits. Joyful and happy are they to do the will of their creator, a worker of truth whose work is truth! To the moon God said; renew yourself, crown of glory for those borne in the womb, for they like you, are destined to renew themselves,and to give glory to their creator for the sake of God's holy honored sovereignty (malkhut/Shekhinah). Blessed are you, God, renewer of months." (http://telshemesh.org/water/jewish_cycles_of_the_moon_jill_hammer.html)

i of course know of paul's warning to the colossians: ". . . never let anyone else decide . . . whether you are to observe annual festivals, new moons or sabbaths. these were only pale reflections of what was coming: the reality is christ." (colossians 2:16-17) but i am also aware of how limited is much contemporary understanding of christ, and suspect that looking at some of the pale reflections might help us recognize the reality when we see him.

circle of prayer 8. the day: evening and morning: embellishments

if evening and morning are the hinges of prayer, what turns on them? what are the gates of prayer? and how did simply "observing" the times come to include such a rich liturgy as we have today?

the liturgical embellishments begins as early as the sixth chapter of deuteronomy, which with the gift of the shema, the words, "listen, israel, YHWH our god is one YHWH. you shall love YHWH with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength," (6:4-5) comes the mitzvah, the commandment: "you shall repeat [these words] . . . at your lying down and at your rising." (6:7)

by the time of daniel, "three times each day he continues to fall on his knees, praying and giving praise to god . . . ." (daniel 6:11) it is usually assumed that the third time of prayer was noon, another time of natural awe.

psalm 119 begins to make things more complex.

verse 62 ("i get up at midnight to thank you/for the righteousness of your rulings") not only provides the basis for the night office but suggests content, psalm 119 itself, 176 verses of thankfulness for the laws of YHWH.

verse 147 ("i wake up before dawn to call for help/i put my hope in your word") has led to the office of matins, as verse 148 ("i lie awake throughout the night/to meditate on your promise") has led to vigils.

finally, verse 164 ("seven times daily i praise you/for your righteous rulings") lies behind the seven hours of prayer of the rule of st. benedict, although of course benedict was not the first to build on this couplet.

but most popular, and poignant, is compline, the past prayer before sleeping. to this little office belong psalms of trust for the night, such as 4 and 91. but most importantly, to compline belongs the song of simenon, the nunc dimittis:

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, *
according to thy word;
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation, *
which thou hast prepared before the face of all people,
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles, *
and to be the glory of thy people Israel. (luke 2:29-32)

with this little song, sung by the aged simeon who had stayed in the temple in expectaton of seeing the messiah, and how now, having held the infant jesus, proclaims that he is ready to die. this little song begins to make explicit the parallels between the cycle of the days and the cycle of our lives.

circle of prayer 7. the day: evening and morning: morning

it is early in the morning. rosy-fingered dawn has yet to take off her evening gloves. but the birds know what is about to happen and, and they rejoice in it. around the world, as the eastern horizon begins to glow, comes the call and response:

v/ "o lord, open though our lips."
r/ "and our mouths shall show forth thy praise."

then swells the songs that begins our daily pilgrimage:

"come, let us sing unto the lord,
let us shout for joy to the rock of our salvation.
let us come before his presence with thanksgiving,
and raise a loud shout to him with psalms.
. . .
oh that today, we would harken to his voice." (from psalm 95, venite)

"oh that today, we would harken to his voice."

more psalms follow, his words given to us to be his voice, words that are prayers for us and the whole world, because we pray as the body of christ, carrying out our role as a royal priesthood.

pierre teilhard de chardin, the french jesuit and paleontologist, saw the role of the priesthood as "to divinize the new day." and so he prayed to the holy one, ". . . i shall offer you, i your priest, on the altar of the whole earth, the soil and sorrow of the world."

then there is a reading, a listening to the word of god, the mantra the holy one gives us to "harken to" today. we tend these days to read too much too silently. "to harken to" something means we hear it. and if what we hear is the voice of the beloved, each word is precious, each word full of many meanings.

we hear these words coming from

"the lord, the god of israel,
who has come to his people and set them free,
who has raised up for us a power of salvation." (emphasis added)

the evening canticle as the song of mary, the mother of the first-born of the new covenant. the morning canticle is the song of zecheriah, the father of john the baptist, the last-born of the old covenant. of john jesus would say, "of all the children born of women, there is none greater than john; yet the least of the kingcom of heaven is greater than he is." (luke 7:28)

as we sing the benedictus this very day takes its position in salvation history. the temptation is to say, "ho hum, a rainy thursday." but we sing ourselves to see this as the day the lord has made, in which his purposes are being worked out, in which we as the royal priesthood "form a process up to the horns of the altar." (psalm 118:27)

circle of prayer 6. the day: evening and morning: interlude

"the heavens declare the glory of god,
the vault of heaven proclaims his handiwork:
day discourses of it to day,
night to night hands on the knowledge." (Psalm 19:1-2)

in a section of his delightfully insightful book prayer shapes believing called "hinges of daily prayer," leonel h. mitchell more or less proves scholastically that evening and morning prayer "have a different status" from other times of prayer, quoting from the second vatican council's constitution on sacred liturgy that "[they]are the two hinges on which the daily office turns. they must be considered as the chief hours and are to be celebrated as such;" from robert taft, s.j., that "the offices at the begenning and end of day are . . . ritual moments symbolic of the whole of time . . . . they are our priest prayer as god's priestly people for our needs and those of the entire world. this is what liturgy means . . . . as a matter of fact, this is what life means;" and from the taize community, that "the liturgy of the church, the daily office, is part of the heavenly liturgy, of the office of christ and the angels, presenting before the throne of the father the prayersof the saints, toether with their own praise and intercessions."

of course, only we silly people need this proof, this reminder. the rest of the animal kingdom, knows and celebrates. at dusk and at dawn there is always a pause, a change in dance and song. i have watched, at black bass lake in arkansas, young white-tailed does dance their lauds as the sun lightens the mists of the new creation. and one midsummer, one in which the full moon and the solstice coincided, making very high tides that swallowed the beaches of hope island at the southern end of puget sound, i read vespers each evening in a madrona that overhung the water, i on one branch, and each evening for a week, a raven on another. we came, i think, to begin to understand each other's alien chants.

each of those evenings we both, man and raven, were given the amazing gifts of darkness and pregnancy, water and the mother. and each mornining, as i would boil water for the tea with which i toasted the rising son, sent to "guide our feet into the way of peace," (luke 1:79b) that raven, who came to share his oat meal with me, and i were given the amazing gifts of light and birth, warmth and the father.

appendex: canticles

The Song of Mary Magnificat
Luke 1:46-55

My soul doth magnify the Lord, *
and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior.
For he hath regarded *
the lowliness of his handmaiden.
For behold from henceforth *
all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath magnified me, *
and holy is his Name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him *
throughout all generations.
He hath showed strength with his arm; *
he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seat, *
and hath exalted the humble and meek.
He hath filled the hungry with good things, *
and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He remembering his mercy hath holpen his servant Israel, *
as he promised to our forefathers,
Abraham and his seed for ever.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: *
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen


The Song of Zechariah Benedictus Dominus Deus
Luke 1:68-79

Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, *
for he hath visited and redeemed his people;
And hath raised up a mighty salvation for us *
in the house of his servant David,
As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, *
which have been since the world began.
That we should be saved from our enemies, *
and from the hand of all that hate us;
To perform the mercy promised to our forefathers, *
and to remember his holy covenant;
To perform the oath which he sware to our forefather Abraham, *
that he would give us,
That we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies *
might serve him without fear,
In holiness and righteousness before him, *
all the days of our life.

And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the Highest, *
for thou shalt go before the face of the Lord
to prepare his ways;
To give knowledge of salvation unto his people *
for the remission of their sins,
Through the tender mercy of our God, *
whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us;
To give light to them that sit in darkness
and in the shadow of death, *
and to guide our feet into the way of peace.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: *
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

The Song of Simeon Nunc dimittis
Luke 2:29-32


Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, *
according to thy word;
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation, *
which thou hast prepared before the face of all people,
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles, *
and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: *
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen

Song of the Three Young Men, 35-65 Benedicite, omnia opera Domini


I Invocation

O all ye works of the Lord, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.
O ye angels of the Lord, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.


II The Cosmic Order

O ye heavens, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye waters that be above the firmament, bless ye the Lord;
O all ye powers of the Lord, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.
O ye sun and moon, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye stars of heaven, bless ye the Lord;
O ye showers and dew, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

O ye winds of God, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye fire and heat, bless ye the Lord;
O ye winter and summer, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

O ye dews and frosts, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye frost and cold, bless ye the Lord;
O ye ice and snow, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

O ye nights and days, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye light and darkness, bless ye the Lord;
O ye lightnings and clouds, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.


III The Earth and its Creatures

O let the earth bless the Lord; *
O ye mountains and hills, bless ye the Lord;
O all ye green things upon the earth, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

O ye wells, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye seas and floods, bless ye the Lord;
O ye whales and all that move in the waters, bless ye the Lord;
praise him and magnify him for ever.

O all ye fowls of the air, bless ye the Lord; *
O all ye beasts and cattle, bless ye the Lord;
O ye children of men, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

IV The People of God

O ye people of God, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye priests of the Lord, bless ye the Lord;
O ye servants of the Lord, bless ye the Lord; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

O ye spirits and souls of the righteous, bless ye the Lord; *
O ye holy and humble men of heart, bless ye the Lord.
Let us bless the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; *
praise him and magnify him for ever.

circle of prayer 5. the day: evening and morning: evening

there is a tribe, the kogi, in tropical south america, who say that when an infant begins life it knows three things: mother, night, and water.

the same simple but profound knowledge is reflected in the daily prayer of the church, who has not forgotten that the evening and the morning are the day, even if this wisdom shows up in popular culture only as christmas eve and hallowe'en.

water in the womb it is dark and we live surrounded by water, our own little sea, remembered in romance language congates such as mere and mar, mother and ocean, and celebrated in the first sacrament of the church, baptism, which in an ancient custom being more and more recovered, happens in its fullest on the eve of easter, when we are plunged into the waters of rebirth as we remember our lord's day in the womb of mother earth, sharing his death that we might share his resurrection. paul describes this image beautifully in the sixth chapter of his epistle to the romans: ". . . when we were baptized we went into the tomb with him and joined him in death, so that as christ was raised from the dead by the father's glory, we too might live a new life." (6:4)

night each evening, but especially saturday evening, beginning as it does the sunday, the little easter, the day of the resurrection, is an opportunity to reclaim the promises of baptism, not only those we made or which were made for us, but more importantly those the church made to us and which we as the body of christ made to one another. we confess our sins and forgive and are forgiven. we reenter the darkness of the womb of rebirth to start another, yet more glorious day.

mother and we sing the magnificat (see the appendex for this and other canticles), the great canticle of the mother of our lord. as we sing we not only to fulfill the prophetic line, "all generations will call me blessed," (luke 1:48) but also because we, too, if we say "let it be according to your word," (luke 1:38) may have the holy spirit come upon us that we, too, may become temples of the holy one in order as it says in the eucharistic liturgy, "that he may dwell in us and we in him." it is by making ourselves available to birth the kingdom of god that we are birthed into the kingdom of god.

perhaps the gospel of thomas has it right:

"if you give birth to that which is in you,
it will save you.
if you keep it within you,
it will be your death." (gospel of thomas 71, author's translation)

circle of prayer 4. holiness: the sabbath

"on the seventh day god completed the work he had been doing. he rested on the seventh day after all the work he had been doing. god blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on that day he had rested from all his work of creating." (genesis 2:2-3)

simone weil had the insight that god and all creation is less than god alone. this is a clue to why holiness is spoken only of the sabbath, that part of creation in which god rested. often we hear said, whether in awe or in derision, that the world was created in seven days. but everything that was made was made in six days. yet the week has seven days, ending in the holiness of god's resting.

as the story that begins in genesis continues, rest and its connection with holiness will be a recurring theme. sometimes it is the story of holiness lost, as in psalm 95 (:10-11):

"for forty years that generation repelled me,
until i said; how unreliable these people
who refuse to grasp my ways! and so, in anger, i swore that not one
would reach the place of rest i had for them.

sometimes it is an invitation to holiness, as in isaiah (30:15):

for thus says the lord YHWH, the holy one of israel:
your salvation lies in returning and rest,
your strength in complete trust." (jb emended by the author after bcp 1979)

sometimes it is reported as an experience, as in psalm 131 (:1-2):

'YHWY, my heart has no lofty ambitions,
my eyes do not look too high.
i am not concerned with great affairs
or marvels beyond my scope.
enough for me to keep my soul tranquil and quiet
like a child in its mother's arms,s
as content as a child that has been weaned.

and finally, when the messiah had come, and the writer of the epistle to the hebrews would try to understand this awesome act of god "according to the scriptures," he or she would use the metaphor of sabbath rest to describe our great salvation. (hebrews 3:7-4:11)

day 41: the day after the ascension

for the first disciples, the day after the ascension must have been one of the weirdest days yet. following jesus had been full of surprises. indeed surprise is far too weak a word. i mean, there they were, staying alive in the empire, maybe not, certainly not, leading the lives of their dreams, but getting by, eating, sleeping in warm cozy houses, hoping for more freedom for the children they might have, when bam! comes this man compelling them into abundant life with two words: "follow me."

they followed, and they knew as they had never known anything before that the words he spoke were truth, that he himself indeed was truth. but he led them not to the freedom they had imagined but to a passover at which the first born of israel would himself die, not escape, and die the cruelest, most humiliating death the empire, now roman rather than egyptian, could devise.

they had scattered, they had hidden, they had feared. but he had found them, and given them his peace. the empire of sin and death had no claims on him. he was alive, and with with them once again.

and now, after only forty days, he was not. only forty days, a period so short their detractors, inded even some of the twelve, said could just be a delusion, wishful thinking.

some doubted.

but he had said to wait, and they had not much else to do, and their time with him, the three years and the forty days, and their time without him, the three days of primaeval darkness, had changed them. they doubted, but they trusted. besides, what else could they do?

they waited for "what the father has promised . . . . the power from on high" (luke 24:49) they would be ready "to restore the kingdom to israel." (acts 1:6) they would repent from judas/ defection by choosing annother twelvth, one who would coincidentally bear the good maccabean name of mat'thias. (acts 1:21-26)

and they waited, gathered in the upper room, no longer for fear of the religious authorities, for the fear of god is only the beginning of wisdom, but in expectation and in love, growing in the womb of the newborn church which would take her first breath "when pentecost was fully come."

ten days they waited, an advent rosary, each day a prayer that has continued to prepare the church for the power from on high:

"come, lord jesus!"
maranatha

ascension day: clap your hands (psalm 47:1)

i am always delighted that one of the daily office readings for this day is the vision of ezekiel. i keep trying to paint it. it can't be done. peter paul rubens failed, so why should i think i can. the best effort i've seen is by william h. johnson.

one of the things implied by this juxtaposition of images, ezekiel's wheel with jesus' ascension, is that the throne to which jesus ascends is the throne which is occupied by yhwh. hear, o israel, old israel and new israel: the god of the old testament and the god of the new testament, is one god.

but the one god is not unchanged by the incarnation. the jesus who ascends is the same jesus who walked and talked and ate with us humans, and he is the same jesus who will return. this is the jesus who still has in his hands and feet and side the scars of the passion, who hungered and thirsted and who was tempted in all ways as we are.

thanks be to god.

st. brendan

the 16th of may, the feast of st. brendan, is one of my favourites. it was on the 16th of may a.d.2002 that i set forth on a journey by kayak, named brendan, that would change my life, introducing me to the life of a hermit and showing me the wonderful oneness of all creation. there is indeed link to a photograph of me in that kayak on the net.

the story of brendan continues to inspire me. last year, when i first came to the ozarks to "listen to the wind words," i brought with me celtic daily prayer ( the northumbria community, ed. harper san francisco, 2002). in it (pp. 191-193) were these words for "brendan--in exploration of a vision:"

"lord, i will trust you,
help me to journey beyond the familiar
and into the unknown.
give me the faith to leave old ways
and break fresh ground with you.

christ of the mysteries, can i trust you
to be stronger than each storm in me?

do i still yearn for your glory to lighten on me?

do i show others the care you've given me.

i determine amidst all uncertainty
always to trust.

i choose to live beyond regret,
and let you recreate my life.

i believe you will make a way for me
and provide for me,
if only i trust you
and obey.

i will trust in the darkness and know
that my times are still in your hand.

i will believe you for my future,
chapter by chapter, until all the story is written.

focus my mind and my heart upon you,
my attention always on you without alteration.

strengthen me with your blessing
and appoint to me the task.

teach me to live with eternity inview.
tune my spirit to the music of heaven.

feed me,
and, somehow,
make my obedience count for you.

the words seem just as good this year.

circle of prayer 3. male and female: icon of god as community

"god said, 'let us make man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth.

"god created man in the image of himself,
in the image of god he created him,
male and female he created them.

"god blessed them . . . ." (genesis 1:26-28)

at first this passage may seem an odd choice in a reflection on time, on what we usually call the church year. but the holy one's creation is not an abstract or merely subjective act. nor is it, despite many writers' claims, perfect. it is good, indeed very good. but not perfect, not finished. jesus will say, "my father goes on working, and so do i." (john 5:17) he will also model what it really means to be a master, assuming the role of a slave and washing his disciples' feet (john 13:1-20). but that will be far in the future. for now this mancreature, male and female, is iconic and prophetic. this is the particular creature which god blesses, who is created in "our own image, in the likeness of ourselves," revealing that the creator, although one god, is also a community, whom this mancreature will come to know as a trinity of persons, coming to understand that our own personhood exists fully in community as well. and ultimately in the incarnation, the holy one will take on our very flesh. god's spirit will hover over mary the mother of jesus in a new creation. all of these things will happen in time, not as randomly strung beads of chaos, of unrelated events, but in days and months, weeks and years, that reveal the continuing work of god and that form us in his image day by day. we are created both to be the recipient of the holy one's self-revelation and the agents of that revelation. we are blessed, the only part of creation of which this is said, to be a blessing.

circle of prayer 2. festivals, days and years: cosmic events

"god said, 'let there be lights in the vault of heaven to divide day from night, and let them indicate festivals, days and years.'" (genesis 1:14)

many modern writers, non-christian and christian both, assume that festivals are somewhat arbitrary, being entirely human inventions, no divine revelation of them having happened or being possible. but genesis asserts, in agreement with most people everywhere who live close to nature, to the creation, that festivals are part of the same natural order as "scientifically observable" days and years. this assertion is not primarily epistemological, about how we know things, but ethical, about how we live. how we celebrate festivals is deeply important not only to our well-being, but to the well-being of the whole world.

so isaiah will report "the word of yahweh" both as
"what are your endless sacrifices to me?
. . .
i am sick of holocausts of rams,
and the fat of calves.
the blood of bulls and goats revolts me.
. . .
new moons, sabbaths, assemblies--
i cannot endure festivals and solemnities.
. . .
your hands are covered with blood,
wash, make yourself clean." (isaiah 1:10-16)

and as

"Jacob, you have not invoked me,
you have not troubled yourself on my behalf.
you have not brought me your sheep for holocausts
nor honored me with sacrifices." (isaiah 43:22-23)

on time, life, and the recreation of the universe

for many years now i have been pondering the wonderful way the "church year" brings together the elements of the universe and of our life in christ. i am not becoming any younger, so if i want to put this together in some hopefully helpful form, the time to do it is now.

what i want to do is to try to establish the relationship between the day, the week, and the year, then to show how the same patterns are revealed in our lives in christ as part of the recreation of the universe.

your responses are welcomed.

circle of prayer 1. the holy one: the evening and the morning as revelation

"in the beginning, god created the heavens and the earth." (genesis 1:1)

thus begins the story which comprehends all stories. it is the story not only of the holy one's creation of all things, but also of his self-revelation through all things.

how could it be otherwise? if it is true for us, who are created in the image of god, that all writing is autobiography, all painting self-portraiture, should it surprise us if creation is the first way god shows himself?

the story continues:

"now the earth was a formless void, there was darkness over the deep, and God's spirit hovered over the water.

"god said, "let there be light,' and there was light. god saw that light was good, and god divided light from darkness. god called light 'day,' and darkness he called 'night.' evening came and morning came: the first day." (genesis 1:1b-5)

thus comes about god's first creations, light andtime. with time, evening and morning, the first day, comes also a pattern we can see repeated again and again. out of darkness comes the light. here in these opening verses of genesis are predicted (in the literal sense of "spoken before") the mystery of pregnancy and birth, samson's riddle, the exodus from egyptian slavery, the season of advent, and the resurrection from the dead. here we are given a hermeneutic for understand all the scripture to follow. here eternity puts on the clothing of time, even as god in christ will put on the clothing of flesh.

ash wednesday and easter sunday

lent, which seems to be the favourite season of the year for many of us, has come again. lent means, simply, spring--the time of the year when the days lengthen.

but it is also the time when we are brought back into our lord's journey to jerusalem, for his exodus, as the greek of the account of the transfiguration in the gospel according to luke says literally.

our lord asks us to take up our cross daily and follow him. we say, oh my, that's a little harsh. i'll give up refined sugar.

our lord says we must die to self, that unless we are willing, as a grain of wheat, to fall to ground and die, there will be no life in us. we say, that is of course metaphorical. i don't have to die, not really. i'll give up chocolate.

our lord invites us to leave everything and follow him. we recognize that would require us to completely reorder our lives, so we say, oh, i'll read a few more psalms during lent.

we make these decisions, and we invite ourselves to miss the glory of the resurrection. we reduce the resurrection to getting to eat a nice, sweet, chocolate easter bunny, and returning to a shorter time of prayer.

i invite you to consider this poem by scott cairns.

adventures in new testament greek: metanoia

Repentance, to be sure,
but of a species far
less likely to oblige
sheepish repetition.

Repentance, you'll observe
glibly bears the bent
of thought revisited,
and mind's familiar stamp

--a quaint, half-hearted
doubleness that couples
all compunction with a pledge
of recurrent screw-up.

The heart's metanoia,
on the other hand, turns
without regret, turns not
so much away, as toward.

as if the slow pilgrim
has been surprised to find
that sin is not so bad
as it is a waste of time.

incarnation.2

to commemorate st. john of damascus i read dom gregory dix's the image and likeness of god which contained these wise words:

"it would not be an adequate expression of the truth to suppose that, in the actual circumstances of [jesus'] life, there was first to be an incarnation and then a redemption followed. rather there is a redemption by incarnation, or perhaps better still, a redeeming incanration. (pp. 39-39

the joys of the flesh

we forget the wonderful mysteries of incarnation to our considerable danger. especially in the west the church as tended to focus on the cross, as if this were the moment of redemption. but it is the incarnation that starts the process, as we note with our own bodies in the long tradition of bowing or kneeeling at the words in the creed, "incarnate of the holy spirit." jesus died because he was born. he died on a cross between two theives because this is the way our institutions, deluded by their own understanding of power, always respond to truth.

and the church has tended to follow augustine in his continuing manichaeism, and to be secuded by the brilliance of the platonists, in relegating the flesh to a place of unsalvageable evil.

john o'donahue in anam cara puts it very well: "religion has often presented the body as a source of evil, ambiguity, lust, and seduction. this is utterly false and irrelevent. the body is sacred. the origin of much of this negative thinking is a false interpretation of greek philosophy. the greeks were beautiful thinkers precisely because of the emphasis they placed on the divine. the divine haunted them, and they endeavoured in language and concept to echo the divine and fine some mirror for its presence. they were acutely aware of the gravity of the body and how it seemed to drag the divine too much toward the earth. they misconceived this attraction to the earth and saw in it a conflict with the world of the divine. they had no conception of the incarnation, in inkling of the resurrection." (p. 46)

lo, he comes, with clouds descending

today in the east, and in the celtic tradition, preparation begins for the feast of the nativity, the incarnation, christmas. call it advent, call it st. martin's fast, call it the nativity lent. as we read in the daily office from joel, we are called to "rend our hearts, not our garments."

of course for many of us the feast that approaches is the great american overspending consumer day. we are not concerned with rending our garments, but in buying new ones. once again it seems appropriate, as the prince of peace is closer than when we first believed, to lament, "oh that they knew the things that make for peace."

but it is also an opportunity for us to consider whether we might come to know the things that make for peace. where to begin? with the beatitudes, of course, recognizing that there is, as jim forest has so well written, a ladder of the beatitudes. we are only able to become peacemakers if we are also willing to start with our poverty of spirit. forty days is hardly long enough. but it is certainly long enough to begin.

all hallows day

coming up quickly is one of my favourite holidays, and the fifthteenth anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood: all saints day, or all hallows in the olde language, remembered by most of us these days i'm afraid only in the rather banal activities of the hallmark holiday of halloween.

but even halloween remembers the glory of the day, it being one of the major feasts which is still celebrated in the ancient hebrew (and celtic) manner beginning with the evening. (see the first chapter of genesis: "the evening and the morning were the . . . day.")

unfortunately each year there is a silly struggle between rather fundamentalist christians and neo-pagans about who "owns" the holiday. the fundies saying that the feast should not be celebrated by christians because it is pagan, the pagans claiming the catholics (hated fairly evenly by both sides) have "stolen" it. as if we all inhabited different planets, as if we could, as we so easily assume we do, create the creator according to our own principles.

but of course our understanding of creation and creator are closely linked, and that is why i find the longevity of this holiday so fascinating and exciting. everyone finds it one of the "thin spaces." here at the turn of the year, whether that year begins in september (for the orthodox) or on the first of november (for the celtic crew) or with the first sunday of advent (for the western church), is a time when the veil, the difference between kairos and chronos, even the space between augustine's city of man and city of god, is very small.

and it is a wonderful fulfillment and reminder of the gift of the holy spirit that we celebrate just six months away at pentecost. these two days, pentecost and all saints, are the antipodal feasts of the holy spirit, of the breath of the universe, of the wind which blows where it will, sanctifying "all sorts and conditions of men" (and women), often as much to their surprise as anyone else's. and it is a time for all of the rest of us to be reminded that we should "not dream it, be it." when else do so many wonderful paths of our fumbling seeking after the holy cross so wondrously?