15 january: commemoration of paul of thebes

morning had broken, like the first morning.
black bird had spoken, like the first bird.
i had slept late,
knowing there was raisin bread for breakfast.

i had gone to fayetteville yesterday, a trip fascinating in many ways as i met new people, but i had not netted much in trade for some books i had taken: gregory of nyssa's life of moses, and $2.65.

i am in one of "those" periods when i feel as if all that stand between the present disastrous condition of the world and universal salvation are the little groups of books that line the walls of my hut--a reminder that i haven't quite "sold everything." at the same time, excited that my two favourites books were favorites of the great monastic saints of the middle ages and earlier--the psalter and the song of songs, i have even ordered another translation and commentary on the psalms, as if some other part of beautus vir qui non abiit would spring to life in me if i just read robert alter's translation.

so: would the world be a better place if i sold all my books and gave the slightly more than $2.65 to the poor, or maybe all but five or six, just little ones? i won't know, of course, unless i try. but i do know how close the holy one seemed the years i was in a kayak on puget sound with only one book. my friend cassidy has suggested the inside passage some summer. this may be the message i need, perhaps not for universal salvation but for my personal salvation.